launch of an addict......returned

Don’t look at me with hostility

It’s plain to see, oh so clearly

That you don’t give a damn

Is my life a sham........?


Don’t judge me, you see

It’s for the grace you go, no hope

To where this slippery slope

Bites and gnaws and claws


I sold my soul

Anything, to drown this hole

I’d crawl; I’d beg to get my fix

Lounging in the dirt... a ditch


It started simple, in control

Insidious was its smile

Comforting, for awhile

I wasn’t looking.... it turned its back


Sold me down the alley

Absorbed on crack

How did I get here, unclear?

Hey... mind your back....'I'm here'


You don’t see me

You don’t hear me

You just hurt me

You just curse me


I’m black and blue

My veins.... shot, collapsed, see through

I hate you all, above all

Me, that person you don’t see


I’m wounded, unobserved

Undeterred and blinded, misguided

Give me that fix, none of ya tricks

I know your sort, behind my back.... you’ll talk


Gateway to hell is here

I wonder could heaven draw near

I’m down in the gutter

Can’t even raise myself to mutter


It owns me

And destroys me

Latched on and clung to me

Stained and debauched me


Until I couldn’t see

Or hear, or walk or talk

Just veer your course... yeah, you’re not real

Don’t buy me a soul cause I can’t heal


Too late for me now

A broken soul without pride

I can’t hide, this narrow grave it’s covering me

The light grows dim in shade, fools me


I see nowt, pure nothing; yet... winking

A light, a smile it faces me

I take its brand of urgency

Without falter I stumble, can I alter?


This turmoil of no hope

Emerging through this pit of mar

That clings and sticks like tar

Turning my face to grope


To find some hope to reach and run

Get outa this god forsaken place

I don’t know if I have strength to race

I have no speech my words are done


Yet I have begun, the light it flickers

Yet blows out with whispers of

My demise, of cries

My grasp.... denies


I ask, please help me

But you don’t see

It’s up to me

Yet the light still kindles


It takes me forth

And never dwindles

At times it may be hard to know

The path to which I must turn to go


Yet know it I will

You see, what’s left will kill

For sure I’ll climb my hill

Back to life to sanity


To those who love me

Waiting in the aisles

Never failing me with smiles

They welcome me I see it now


I hold my breath and knit my brow

Towards their open arms I stumble

Rushing forward, oh so humble

They hold onto me


It is clear oh wretched me

At last I look

I look!!

I see!!